Unknown writer. Letter to Isaac ? Post.

Title

Unknown writer. Letter to Isaac ? Post.

Creator

Unknown writer

Contributor

Isaac ? Post

Description

Handwritten letter from unknown writer to Isaac ? Post, n.d.

Is Part Of

Isaac and Amy Post Family Papers

Rights

The organization that has made the Item available believes that the Item is in the Public Domain under the laws of the United States, but a determination was not made as to its copyright status under the copyright laws of other countries. The Item may not be in the Public Domain under the laws of other countries. Please refer to the organization that has made the Item available for more information. http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/NoC-US/1.0/

Identifier

7

Location

Rare Books, Special Collections, and Preservation, River Campus Libraries, University of Rochester

Transcription

(Page 1)

Dear Friends, have you ever in
your lives been in a situation, where
seemingly without will of your own
you had been forced where [illegible]
as close as you could every motive of
your soul, you could find nothing to
condemn, nothing that had in it, any
feeling of self, as opposed to another,
nothing, that would cause you, to thrust
yourself in the way of anothers [sic] happi-
ness, and yet find yourself treated as
tho [sic] you were not only ignorant of
the common proprieties of life, but as
tho [sic] you had set yourself up to be snub
bed at every point__ If so you under
stand my feelings at the present time
I came here not because I would
but because I must If I did not
understand, the place which I was
to occupy, surely I was not in

(Page 2)

fault__ I have laid no claims, for
surely I had none to lay, I have
never earned love, I came simply a
beggar_ and now to be told that I
“cant override people here”, that I have
always done it in the world, but here
it is to be whipped out of me”, is to
day the least, mere greek, I do, not un-
derstand one word of it__ I can’t
understand it_ I have occupied the
big chair, but have supposed I was
considerable of even that_ I rode by
the request of both Mr & Mrs Andrews
perhaps, I ought to have refused_ I
wish I had done so, great as was the
pleasure, to feel that I robbed another
gives me more pain, than is comfortable
these two things excepted, I cannot
recal[sic] anything censurable__ I have
been very happy in the feeling that
I was adopted by the Pantarchy[sic]
but to_day I am so wretched, that
all my own loneliness comes back
upon me, with the added grief of

(Page 3)

another heart disappointment_
I am conscious of great selfconscious-
ness[sic], but I am also conscious of entire
consecration to what comes to me
as truth_ I have very little to
bring to truth’s aid, but that little
is as free as possible, and even tho [sic]
little ought perhaps to be acceptable
Oh I’m so wretched_ hurt by
those who should lone and un-
derstand me, and yet who from
my very baby-hood, have always
misunderstood and abused me_
I might have known by the
past what the future would bring
to me, I ought perhaps to forget
myself entirely_ I wish I could
but when any humanity shall en-
tirely forget itself it will cease to
be human, and become divine, I
cannot hope to attain to utter
self abnegation, what is the use
of life & for me and to me it

(Page 4)

is surely a failure_ God forgive
me I wish I had never been
born____ If I am wrong I know
I wish to know it_ but I am
not ready to be abused, by any
body until I give them leave
least of all by my own blood__
I have written this much to
keep my tongue still and my
heart from bursting_ oh how
foolishly weak I am, but tis
even so—I wonder if it would
be well to go to confession_ and
yet what have I to confess_ I
am of no possible good, anywhere
at least anywhere I can easily
be spared_ that is not what pans [sic]
me_ it is ever, to have thrust back
upon you, your best intentions as
diabolisms________

Tags

Personal

Collection

D.93 Isaac and Amy Post Family Papers

Citation

Unknown writer, “Unknown writer. Letter to Isaac ? Post.,” RBSCP Exhibits, accessed November 22, 2024, https://rbscpexhibits.lib.rochester.edu/items/show/2309.

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